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Saturday, June 13th, 2009
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7:43 am - Stitchwork.
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I fear I may run out of catgut ......
this is beyond me. my sweet, sweet, dear Matilda, if only - if only - you were here...
but you are not. and I am. and things are what they are.
not that any one cares for what they've wrought.
not that any one cares for what the demons know.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, July 31st, 2008
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1:35 am
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| Monday, April 14th, 2008
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1:20 am - Secrets...
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I don't like keeping them, any more than you. I know... you want to talk.
but someone has to ask, right?
and even then......
alas.
this isn't doing any good.
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, February 12th, 2008
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8:54 am
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| Thursday, September 20th, 2007
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4:21 am - stitches.
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she was right, after all.. they do always rebuild. not that I really doubted her. i just discovered it's so much easier than I'd always feared
I'd never have thought that I, of all, could be such a narcississtic shit head. but,
I am quite proud. perhaps not rightfully, alas ................
maybe
maybe I just feel good, for ..... for doing something correctly. for once.
oh, my brother, I am still envious. but proud. and pleased.
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, June 22nd, 2007
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2:18 am
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| Sunday, June 3rd, 2007
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11:00 pm
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| Sunday, February 25th, 2007
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8:16 am
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| Wednesday, December 6th, 2006
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2:00 pm
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a flash of light ahead, so fleeting ...
the faint, delicate sound of wings fluttering. did i imagine it? or is it real?
it's up to you .......
again.
(that worries me)
don't leave us again.
current mood: hopeful
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, October 11th, 2006
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11:24 am
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it doesn't belong
it isn't right
it never did
it never was
I think ............
where...?
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, August 29th, 2006
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9:14 am
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too long is the silence
no wingbeats ahead or beside
or even behind me.
Nostalgiabeast creeps and bites in the dark
painful talons that snatch. fangs that snap.
I left her, I left her in that turmoil and storm. typhoon and hurricane of ...
Of it all.
feel so guilty. As well i should. I abandoned her, and left her.
I fear...
I fear she could not take care of herself through it.
I fear she's been lost forever.
Both.
Perhaps lost to him forever.
guilt.
because I cannot go.
I cannot face the Shadow again. I cannot go back, I cannot look. He will take me too.
I'm still needed here, somehow. or is that just an excuse? I am here. I love, still. I cannot leave while I still love.
so much guilt.
I deserve it. I deserve this pain, for what I did.
I'm a traitor.
(please come home soon.)
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, July 30th, 2006
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7:42 am
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why?
Why did you tell me that?
I did not need to know ... I did not want to know
I am Sydney Maelvor.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, July 29th, 2006
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7:09 pm
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I still feel very lonely here
why hast thou forsaken me, Matilda? I've been counting the days, weeks, months ... soon it will be a year
I know, I could leave
I'm scared, too, I can't deny that
fear
But I remain. This may not be the proper place for me, but sometimes, it is Home
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, April 26th, 2006
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5:10 am
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Matilda is still missing
as is Indigo; he promised he'd come home soon
but I think he's been lost forever
I wonder too much, perhaps, I think.
Nostalgia
It's painful
we cannot escape
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, March 1st, 2006
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5:59 am
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sometimes i wonder if i am right for this house. pperhaps i should not stay, perhaps i should not have come?
i do not think i should not have left. i had to leave. i have no regrets.
it was not a safe place
but i do not fit in here
but i do love her
i know that.
i must protect her.
Matilda
where are you?
i miss you.
your guidance.
why do you not come?
i worry...
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, February 28th, 2006
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3:18 am
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